Huzzah

Dear Yabenyabenglockenspiel Enterprises,

It has come to my attention that you are on the lookout for a new CEO. I saw your ad in a distinguished gentlemen's magazine, right under a picture of a man wearing anti-gravity shoes. I think I qualify. For the past 6.23 years, I have been working as a door-to-door duck salesman. If you think this means I don't know how to run a successful business, think again: some of the ducks were rabid. I also sell rubber octopi on Halloween. Does your company have a Chinese restaurant? I never work at places without Chinese restaurants. Do they deliver? I need a paper carton of egg rolls slipped under my door at precisely 11:03 in the morning every Monday, Wednesday, and alternate Friday, except for the fourth Friday in the month, as this is when I usually have my attacks.
I can make your company big money, because I know that the details matter. I have taken the liberty of redesigning your logo. It is now a five-legged terrier in a pin-striped sweater. The best part of it is where the fifth leg comes out from. I have buckets full of creative energy, and also a bucket of something else. Would you like to see it? I believe that I will be very successful as the CEO of your company.

Sincerely,
The Gift Wrap Tiki

P.S. I also make a mean vegetarian duck sandwich.